An image of a christmas tree in a dark room. Lights around the tree and at its base are the only source of light.

I remember a blank stare

Blank stars

Blink again and you’ll miss it baby

Kiss it goodbye like a bad omen

Better omen

Better omen baby

Oh man

Oh men

Oh me

Oh my

Oh shit

I remember not knowing how to see a solar eclipse in the palm of my hand

Palm of the sky

We never went to see South Pacific but we did see

The Christmas Carol

Every time

I hated it maybe

Hide from it maybe

Wasn’t afraid of death

Just productions of it

Simulated sorrow

Stimulated sorries

You can't really apologize to someone watching football behind their eyes

I remember the goal

Not of the game

Not of the players

Not even of you

I remember my happiness in that moment

Thats a lie there wasn’t any til the car ride afterward

And the kids pretending to be the police knew it


I was the immortal in that moment

I can’t think about the date I have to look at the polaroid to recontextualize it

I can’t think about the date after it

It was recontextualized too quick

I remember shaking both times

To both of you

Woman and father

I don’t know who’s scarier

When you say yes

Or nothing


SPECIAL EDITION: This poem has a spoken word version to go along with it! Thank you to our author for recording it.


Emma Douglas is a Midwest poet and teacher who mainly works in spoken word. When they're not writing or learning they're reading or hanging out with their cat. You can find them at their email: emmakd2000@gmail.com